There is no need for you as a writer to ask permission to create. You cannot be subject to this! You must have the wherewithal to work in the midst of doubt, or doubt in the midst of work. Permission is one of those thing which rely on just the freedom of the self. Are you able to release the thoughts of other people as it relates to what you want to create–so you can create?
If you cannot, you will ever wait for someone to grant you the freedom you need to have for yourself–and be dependent on it.
I would be so lost without you. I am so sorry for never telling you how I feel–negating how I feel about you, with all earnest affection. Without pretense or apology. Minimizing it when I should be shouting it. But, I am strong enough-certain enough now–to tell you all that I have held for you.
It is because of you, I have not drowned in the waters life I has tossed me in and towards. You have been a buoy, a light and a consummate map. You have caught tears, brought me sight, and given me a love everlasting.
You have been there for me–when I did no know, nor see myself! You have been found by me, taken away from me, and whispered to me as only a love can in my darkest hours. You have held me together in the palm of my hand. There is no love I know so complete as I know yours.
You are the love of my life. There is no other love like yours. In moments where I could not find my way clear, when I had no more to give, when I thought I had lost you forever–you found me.
You made me yours all over again. Loved me until I could see or reach again. I will never abandon you again, my love. Never again will I doubt, cheapen or downplay our union. The world will always know we are one.
By now, you all are aware of this cool concept of MasterClass. This is app available on Android and Apple iOS which has all sorts of famous people teaching their crafts. These classes include music, cooking, sports, film and writing.
One thing that I thought was interesting was the quote that Martin Scorsese said about film-making. In paraphrasing, he said that if film-making is a not something you cannot live without doing, ‘then this class is not for you.’
What I will tell you is that writing is demanding for those of us that do it. Writing is, can be, something that we as writers do naturally, like breathing.
The gratitude of doubt, as hard as this is to hear, perhaps writing is not what you want to do. You may have wanted to be a writer, tried to be a writer–and the doubts may have overwhelmed you.
Remember, the doubts come as gut-checks. They check your motives: you are supposed to acknowledge it, but not hang on to it.
However, I want you to take artistic inventory. I want you to think hard about what it is you want, and desire to do. If you want to write, you will find a way to do that. If you desire not to write, you will find every reason not to.
At this point? You should put it down. Put up the pen. Scrap the work. Don’t share new work. Give it up. A good rule of thumb I have discovered if you feel this way, is to give up writing up for a season. A chronological season is 3 months, 90 days. If you can be a peace with not writing–this means not writing, not thinking of writing, no desire to write–it is safe to assume writing is not what you want to do. However, if you feel called to it, want to go back to it, feeling that you cannot be your whole self without it, then I suggest you get back to the work at the end of those 90 days. Whatever you thought about writing in that time away from it, start the next season with that work.
Writing for us whom love this craft, won’t give it up. We do not give it up easily. If you feel that you can? Well, the world is a big place; you have the freedom to do other things. Try other things. Perhaps writing is not the thing which calls to you. It is better you find that out now, rather than later.
There is nothing so sad (or scary) as a writer whom does not write.