I try and make a habit of looking through my Draft-Drawer once a season, normally this happens with the speed of Fall and Winter. Then, I have time–I think–to sit and reflect on what I didn’t do when it was warmer and life was more demanding. From that vantage point, I always think such explorations are fun, not traumatic.
However, it is rare I come across an idea that shocks me–I mean it did come from my own imagination…how crazy could the idea be? But there have been times (quite recently here) where I will come across a work I abandoned–because I was simply too scared to finish it.
Yes–scared to finish it. There was a wall. I was scared, and the thought of finishing that work felt like jumping out of a plane. With that acknowledgement, I dissected that feeling. Consider this your wrecking ball.
The Wall. Oh my! How familiar is this feeling? When you find a work you once poured yourself into–and lose it, only to find it again? It is like finding a lost child. You are relieved, you are happy and you are irritated (read: angry) if was ever lost!
Yet, you want to put it back. You want to unsee what you saw. You don’t want to remind yourself of what you gave up on. There is a mental wall erected! You can feel it more than you can see it. Do not run from this feeling. This is the start of breaking the wall. Baldwin himself said that nothing can be changed unless it is faced. Face the wall. No flinching. Flinching leads to fear.
The Fear. What is the thing (there is always a thing!) that is stopping you from picking it back up? This is the feeling you get when you think about finishing that project. That procrastination. That hesitation and excuses. That feeling of ‘I would rather clean toilets than write this’. That fear is a paralytic rather than a rocket fuel. Once you identify what it is–write through it. This means –yes!–write scared. Once you work the fear, it goes away. The more you right, the less it will scare you. But you have to write.
Jumping Out The Plane. Simply put? Finish it. What you have found, what drew your eye and attention, finish it! Let the characters find their exit, their punishment, reward or happily ever after. Writing is an extreme sport sometimes–so get to it! The free fall is crazy, because you don’t know where you will land. Your imagination is the rip cord and parachute. You can do it! You can finish it! Jump!
There is a power to breaking that wall, fellow Oracles. There is a power in confronting the fear, dear ones. Get your parachute (your work in progress or incomplete draft), and jump out the plane.
The world is waiting on you.