I believe writing is a form of madness. I do. I suffer from it, and I have since age 8. I dream, I record. I am a witch born of storytelling, accents, dialects and alphabets. I conjure worlds and destroy them as I see fit. In that roux of creativity, here I am.
Yet, here in that lingering immortality just before me….I get scared too.
I see the pages, blank and endless and sometimes I–I just can’t. Sometimes I can only get to a certain part in a story or a WIP and…I stop. But rather than through that energy away, I put a pen on it…and put it in my draft-drawer. I do this in the hope –THE HOPE–I will return to it. I do it in the hope that I will have the strength to complete something that I started. I do it to remind myself the story isn’t over–I just can’t see my way clear yet. But once I do? I will find my way back to it.
There is a drawer in my desk that is stocked with notebooks, pens and other random office supplies. Within the graveyard of writing supplies, are my incomplete thoughts. There are beginnings, full and bright. There the ends of dreams, the beginnings of nightmares, and the lusts of my own flesh. All in this drawer, waiting for me…calling to me in times where I would be, rather be writing.
They call when I say I can’t write.
They persist when I escape the diligence of writing to tweet or post to Instagram.
They haunt when I forget to add to them…or say I don’t need to add to them. Or the biggest writer lie: “I’ll get back to it.”
I have so many stories to tell, and one life to tell them in. Yet, I know I may not…
Sometimes the peace of mind in which you need to write has to be fought for. It has to be snatched from the trifecta of doubt, self-rejection and distraction. You have to be able to write when the world is–can be–soft or loud.
Writing, writing daily, is a decision that requires discipline and mild suffering. This type of suffering is seen when you decide to forgo that which is comfortable to do something else needed and necessary.
Take the time to write–and take it by force. Do not let the dragons–or their roars–win.
Stop writing like there is someone over your shoulder. There isn’t if you think that it is, you will never write. You will never write as you need! You will write for other people and not for yourself–this always cheapens the work.
Don’t sell yourself short.
Close the door and write. If the masses wish to peek in, send them to the corner and make them hush–or wait until you’re done.