What would you need to maintain the writing and its perfection?
Now that you have that hot and fresh in your mind–scratch it and burn it.
Why? Here is why.
Writing time, schedules and circumstances may never be perfect. Ever. If there were, there would be more writers! There are even certain books of the Christian Bible that are/were written under times of war, panic and duress!
There may never be a perfect time to write, but you have to make the time you have perfect. Trust me, it’s possible.
Writing is hard. Writing is real hard. I wish that I could express to you–truly!–how hard this. Being able to pull something out of the nebulous creative ether and share that to other people?
But what I want you to know something, and I will try my best not to sound conceited.
The cool thing about being a writer, is that not everyone can do it.
The hard thing about being a writer, is that not everyone can do it.
The impossible thing about being a writer, is that no everyone can do it.
For every work that you create, there will be a doubt. No matter how quick, not matter how long, no matter how infrequent. The doubt will be there. Almost like a too tight safety belt.
But, there is something to this. What I want you to do when doubt crops up is embrace it, not hold it. This is something that you will learn with time, and as you get comfortable writing.
Embrace the doubt= you realize doubt is there.
Not hold it= doubt will always be a weight, and it is not to be entertained long.
That is the thing about writing. You have to be able to believe you can do it, before you can ever do it. It is the doubt that allows you to still look at a work with some degree of respect–and realize that every piece, every work in project is your responsibility. To care for. And complete.Being a creative has a certain weight and heft to it. Some part of that creative is, does require a radical belief in self.
With that ability, do one thing for me: be grateful.
There are those of us along with journey to writing or creativity that hold on to doubt. Who forget that writing is not as natural for others as it is to us. Or, they allow the doubts of others to be projected on their own talents and cease to create anything. Or anything else.
But gratitude, that is the counterweight to doubting while creating. Your gratitude will allow and plow room towards what it is you want to create. Honor your talent. Honor your commitment.
Putting off the writing never makes it easier.
Taking your creativity for granted only makes you ungrateful.
An ungrateful writer is one most unpleasant to be around. Besides, there is nothing like a good bout of Writer’s Block to make one humble. Trust me.
Let’s talk about why you stare at the pages or screens.
This is done for two reasons:
1.) You don’t know what to say.
2.) You are scared of what you might say.
As a writer, some things are inevitable. Criticism and second guessing and deconstruction are some of them. Yet, write anyway. Good writing, bold writing is a little scary. You are pulling something out of the creative ether and bringing it to reality–that alone is scary.
But do it any way.
Don’t allow a screen or a blank page to stop what you want to create. You are your first audience.
There is a bravery that comes with just being you. Of owning all of who you are, all you have been through, and all you will become.
Being you–and no one else–is hard.
Impostor syndrome is defined as “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally (Wikipedia).”
As a writer, as a creative person, you will have these moments or cycles of not feeling ‘good enough’ or ‘worthy enough’ to do write as you want or like you want.
It’s scary. I, too, in the early part of deciding to pursue a career as a writer, thought about this. I had these patterns. I wanted to be success to accompany this decision. But in that, in doing the other writing-teaching that I do? I had no confidence in it! What does that mean? It meant that I thought having a degree validated what I was doing. And without it, I felt like I didn’t deserve any type of success that could come with it.
It was my husband that reminded me the degree didn’t define my talent, or determine its course. The talent determined everything! The vessel that houses the talent determines its journey!
When he said that to me, my anxiety settled. I could do more, and do more confidently as I did more speaking, writing or teaching.
You determine your success; it is not determined by other people. The accolades are not a substitute for self-worth or self-esteem. Writing is a hobby/career where you are judged by people who don’t know you or have any concept of what you desire to create long-term.
However, I implore you, create anyway. It is the work that is needed in the world–your work is needed in the world! As you create, as you build, as you make space, celebrate the wins. Don’t just make To-Do Lists, and tick off what you complete.
Own the title you give yourself–you’re working so hard for it.