The words will never just appear out of the ether. You have to chase them. You may have to fight for them. You may even have to chase their shadows from dreams you have. But be relentless, dear Oracles.
The words are there–but you may have to reach a little longer or further to get them.
I believe writing is a form of madness. I do. I suffer from it, and I have since age 8. I dream, I record. I am a witch born of storytelling, accents, dialects and alphabets. I conjure worlds and destroy them as I see fit. In that roux of creativity, here I am.
Yet, here in that lingering immortality just before me….I get scared too.
I see the pages, blank and endless and sometimes I–I just can’t. Sometimes I can only get to a certain part in a story or a WIP and…I stop. But rather than through that energy away, I put a pen on it…and put it in my draft-drawer. I do this in the hope –THE HOPE–I will return to it. I do it in the hope that I will have the strength to complete something that I started. I do it to remind myself the story isn’t over–I just can’t see my way clear yet. But once I do? I will find my way back to it.
There is a drawer in my desk that is stocked with notebooks, pens and other random office supplies. Within the graveyard of writing supplies, are my incomplete thoughts. There are beginnings, full and bright. There the ends of dreams, the beginnings of nightmares, and the lusts of my own flesh. All in this drawer, waiting for me…calling to me in times where I would be, rather be writing.
They call when I say I can’t write.
They persist when I escape the diligence of writing to tweet or post to Instagram.
They haunt when I forget to add to them…or say I don’t need to add to them. Or the biggest writer lie: “I’ll get back to it.”
I have so many stories to tell, and one life to tell them in. Yet, I know I may not…
This is something I am so sensitive about speaking of! I pride myself on being an encourager, and something of a writing midwife–a writer’s writer if you will. So, when the topic of discouragement comes up? I get really defensive and angry. I want to chase it out of the lives of writers because it is a cancer on and towards all creativity. It’s a block of the worst sort!
But, I have to talk about it. Even if it is begrugingly.
Discouragement is the opposite of encouragement. This you know. With that antonym in mind, discouragement is the thing that strangles your heart, determined to kill everything in it! This type of hindrance is heart-breaking. It often doesn’t come from any internal voice most times! It may be in the form of the people whom love you, but tell you to forsake writing. Whom may tell you they can’t or won’t support you ‘because what you’re doing isn’t special.’ Let’s not even talk about your own doubts, fears and inhibitions! A working writer has enough going on internally as we work –we don’t needed the added stress of other people telling us, discouraging us, from what we are already scared to do!
Discouragement can be project-specific or cyclic. You must be aware of this. You have to be able to notice what causes this, and what uproots or defuses it! In recognizing this, in finding out the direction and reason behind the discouragement you can begin to combat it! Whether this means to start writing in a specific area, or on a specific day, or you just keep all your writing to yourself to share with a select group of people–do what makes you comfortable and happy.
Eff the naysayers!
This is your talent, your time and your life–be bold!